Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Note to Single Mothers on Father's Day

 This is an encouraging note for the single mothers out there on Father's Day. I know that it must be hard to be a single parent and God knows that I would never pretend to know what you go through on the daily trying to do it all alone, because I know how difficult it is to do it with 2 parents in the household. But in the case of the single mother who has a baby daddy who actually takes the time to spend time with, care for, and be a father to their children...please don't play vindictive games with the kids.

Don't use the child to "whip" the father for past wrongs, punish him for not being with you, finding someone new, get more money or get back at him for being happy without you. It's not right. Your child should not have to be deprived of a father because your feelings are hurt, because guess what? You are not only hurting that man, you are destroying your child. Children need their fathers! Little girls develop much of their self-esteem and perception of themselves through their relationship with their father. Little boys pattern who they aspire to be after their fathers; and don't get it twisted...a woman can not teach a boy to be a man. Try as she might, she will fall short somewhere.

It breaks my heart to see how many men close to me suffer in these types of situations when it is so unnecessary. If you have a child with someone, you have to learn to put your differences aside for the sake of your children. They didn't ask to be here so don't make their lives miserable because you feel that you have a point to get across. You may not think that they notice, but trust me they do.

 Ladies, I know the load is often heavy so don't make yours harder than it has to be; if your baby's daddy wants to be a father--then let him. Men cry too and they love their kids just like we mother's do. With all the dead-beat loser dads populating the Earth, real dads need to be celebrated...not broken down and discouraged.

So keep that in mind this Father's Day season and give that guy a call and let him know that all his good efforts have not been in vain. Heck...there's still time to wish him a Happy Father's Day and really mean it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

While in essence I agree with what you are saying - it is my experience that (some) men provoke the baby momma's because they crave the attention and are to immature to be Dad's. They are often jealous of the attention the children receive and don't know how else to handle themselves.

and secondly, I resent the term "Single....Parent" when you have a partner that parents with you - regardless of your relationship with each other - you are not raising a child alone. SINGLE parenting is people like me that have no contact with the father (by his own choice) and are raising children ALONE.